Almost four years since my son’s autism diagnosis, and here I am, reminiscing about that frosty December morning—the one where I drove to the hospital, nerves shot, only to spot a rainbow gleaming through my windscreen. A sign? I like to think so. What I know for sure is that I’ve learned A LOT since then (understatement of the century).
I started this blog as an open letter to my younger self—that terrified mum sitting in a clinical room, hearing words that would change our family’s life forever. But also, to you—the parent who might be right there, right now, googling in a panic, drowning in medical jargon, and just hoping for a sign that everything will be okay.
So, if you’re out there (and not just my mum—hi, Mum!), I hope I can be that glimmer of hope I so badly needed back then. Amongst the overwhelm, the negativity, and the chaos, here are the top 10 things I’ve learned along the way about raising an autistic child and navigating an autism diagnosis…
A Quick Disclaimer
Before you get stuck in, I want to clarify that I am in no way a medical professional—just a mum who has been living the neurodiversity life for several years. My content is based on my experiences with my family. If you have specific concerns, always consult a professional.
Top 10 Tips For After An Autism Diagnosis
1. What to Do After an Autism Diagnosis? Remember, Your Child Is Not Broken
This one is tough to write, but I’ve included it because it’s how I was made to feel when I first heard the words, “Your child has autism.” The medical professional delivering the news started with, “I am sorry to say…” Sorry for what? My child was not broken.
She overwhelmed me with so much information that it may as well have been another language. I shut down completely. But then I looked at my little boy, happily playing in the room, oblivious to the words floating around us. That is when I knew—autism wasn’t something to fix. My child’s differences were not deficits; they were just part of who he was. With the right support, autistic children can thrive in ways you never imagined.
2. Ditch the Guilt and Embrace the Journey
If I could time-travel, I would tell my younger self, drowning in worry, that this journey is like a rollercoaster. You are strapped in, heading over the big drop—and all you can do is hold on tight (and sometimes close your eyes).
Take it from someone who has been there—blaming yourself is exhausting and counterproductive. Autism is not something you caused. Your child was always meant to be exactly who they are—every incredible inch of them. Instead of dwelling on the ‘what-ifs,’ focus on what you can do: supporting, advocating, and celebrating your child’s unique strengths.
3. You Are Not Alone – Finding Your Support Network
An autism diagnosis can feel isolating. You might start comparing your child to others, noticing missed milestones, and wondering if anyone else truly understands.
But here’s the truth: you will find your people. Some friends, family members, and professionals will step up in ways you never expected. And you’ll meet new people—those who just get it. For me, my family was my lifeline, and I was lucky to have an incredible childminder and teachers who embraced my son for who he is.
Building a support network is crucial. Seek out autism parenting groups, both in-person and online, and don’t be afraid to lean on those who offer help.
4. Processing Your Feelings: A Crucial Step After an Autism Diagnosis
Before, during, and after diagnosis, you’ll feel everything—and that’s okay. Therapy, journaling, and simply talking things through can help. I recommend an anxiety relief journal or a gratitude journal to work through emotions in a healthy way.
Keeping everything bottled up isn’t sustainable—I know because I tried. I went into survival mode, researching obsessively, and didn’t fully process my emotions for a year. You don’t have to do the same.
5. Prioritise Rest & Self-Care
Sleep struggles are common in autistic children, and I won’t sugar coat it—burnout is real. Autism parenting is a marathon, not a sprint. Prioritising self-care makes you a better advocate and parent.
So, stop the late-night doom scrolling and rest when you can. Looking after yourself isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.
6. Advocacy Matters: What to Do After an Autism Diagnosis to Support Your Child
At first, advocating for your child can feel uncomfortable, especially if you dislike confrontation (like me!). But your child needs you to fight for what’s right. Whether it’s accessing autism support services, getting school accommodations, or explaining sensory sensitivities, you will find your voice—and you’ll become stronger with every challenge you face.
7. Avoid the Digital Overload: Researching Autism the Right Way
Researching autism is important (and hopefully how you found me!), but too much information can be overwhelming. Social media often shows only part of the story, and not all advice is helpful.
Worse, you might stumble upon content that suggests “curing” or “fixing” autism. Avoid that. Instead, focus on autism acceptance, positive parenting, and strategies that empower your child.
8. Learn from Your Child – Understanding Autism Through Their Eyes
The best way to understand autism is to observe your child. No two autistic children are the same, so what works for one may not work for another.
Pay attention to their habits, triggers, and interests. Is there a pattern to meltdowns? Are certain environments overwhelming? Understanding their unique world helps you create the best strategies to support them.
9. Explaining Autism to Family and Siblings After a Diagnosis
You’ll find yourself explaining autism a lot—to family, teachers, even your child. Books can be a fantastic tool. I highly recommend The Abilities in Me series, which explains different disabilities in a child-friendly way.
When my son was diagnosed, his sister was five. The book Superstar Siblings helped her understand, and I even donated copies to my kids’ school so more children could learn about neurodiversity.
10. Document the Journey: A Positive Way to Navigate an Autism Diagnosis
Ever since my children were tiny, I’ve taken hundreds of photos. I use the 1 Second Everyday app to save daily snippets, creating a year-in-review video. On tough days, watching these clips reminds me how much progress we’ve made.
One of my favourite traditions is watching our yearly video as a family on New Year’s Eve—laughing at the funny moments, reflecting on challenges we’ve overcome, and feeling grateful for the life we’ve built. If you download just one app this year, make it this one.
Final Thoughts
An autism diagnosis is life-changing, but you will find joy in the little things. The hard days make the good days even brighter. Gratitude will get you through—plus, let’s be honest, a lot of chocolate and caffeine.
I’d love to hear from you! If this post resonated with you, drop a comment below and share your thoughts. Got questions or your own experiences to add? Let’s chat—your story could help another parent on this journey!